I will try not to Rush into this…

Ok. This will be my first post, that does not use a article specific hyper link. Solely because I heard this radioshow episode yesterday morning, and they did not, while I was listening, state which day it was.

I was driving to a friends house and had enough time to listen to about 10 minutes of the Rush Limbaugh show on the Excellence In Broadcasting network, played on the Houston News Station AM 740 KTRH. On this snippet of radio I listened to, a woman called into the show ask Rush some tangential question about Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. As I said, this was tangential. What is important is what was said after the question. Rush asked this woman why she is ashamed to admit that she is conservative. The woman then said that she has conservative ideas along with liberal ideas. Then he said that she is either conservative, or liberal, there is no in between. She then said that she hates to commit herself to a party because it promotes party line thinking. Rush then replied that it is “the only way to be.”

Now, I cannot listen to something like this and not say anything. THIS IS OBSCENE! I cannot belive that the self-proclaimed “leader of the conservative movement” would sit there and try to polarize people into mob thinking. The only thing I hear on the news is these days is how you are either liberal or conservative. What ever happened to free thinking? What ever happened to the thought process? I just feel that this is causing a HUGE polarized rift in American unity. It is no longer about being American, it is now whether you are liberal or conservative. What ever happened to sitting down with an idea and making an educated decision on it?

She’s F@#%ing Alex Rodriquez!

I’m not a Yankees fan, but that’s funny.

Tiger Woods is Lurking, Earning his Stripes and Ready to Pounce

Attention golf beat writers, generic sports headline creator and professional cliche guy: Can we stop already with using the phrase “Tiger is lurking?” Or any other play on words using the name “Tiger” for that matter. I am making this an official rule. If Tiger Woods is within 10 shots of the leader before Sunday, no headline shall refer to a lurking Tiger, a Tiger earning his stripes or a ready-to-pounce Tiger. We get it. He shares the same name as a commonly known ferocious cat. Any headline bearing these cliches will immediately be tossed in the recycle bin.

I really thought we were past this. As of late, things had seemed to die down. I foolishly called it a fad (see tie-dye t-shirts) and proclaimed the era of a lurking Tiger dead. Then something terrible happened. Tiger didn’t win a tournament. I realized the the lull in horrible headlines was due to the fact that Tiger was leading every tournament he was in. Then, two weeks ago at Doral, Tiger decided not to dominate. And the headline douchebags were out in full force.

I decided to do a search of the words “Tiger” and “lurking” on Google News. What I found was a laundry list of articles containing the same cliched headline vomited onto the top of the page. So I was really pissed today when I saw an AOL sports headline that read something like this:

“Only Tiger Woods Would Be Described as ‘Lurking’ Seven Strokes Off the Lead”

Really? This is the first thing I see when I’m looking for a little afternoon Master’s coverage. I really don’t think my request is that unreasonable. I’m not saying stop the 24 hour Tiger coverage. I’m just asking for a little creativity. It’s a shame that a pun-lover like myself has to be the one to say it. Enough with the cliches.

Now if only Tiger could Stewart Cink a putt.

Sky Rockets in flight, Afternoon delight!

Cnn.com is reporting today that China is planning on launching a paper airplane into space. Now I know what you are thinking. Do not worry, they tested their prototype last month in a wind tunnel and it did well! Oh, that wasn’t what you were thinking? OOOOHHHHH. Yea, this idea is a stupid as it sounds. I just had a little more faith in our Eastern, Communist friends. Oh well.

Grab Europa, tie it around your waste, and lets go swimming!

This semester I am taking an astronomy course titled: Solar System Astronomy. Therefore, I am studying the solar system. Hands down, the coolest thing I have learned this semester is the fact that Europa, a moon of Jupiter, has a water ocean under the surface of all that ice. Now you might say, “Steven. It has got to be an ammonia ocean right?” Where I would reply, “No siree bob! We have us some H2O right thurrrrrrr under that surface.” All bad accents aside, this is pretty freaking cool. As Space.com reports, there is “more water than on Earth’s surface.”

What is equally amazing to me is that they just scrapped a mission to investigate this moon. Not only does this seem like, to me, to be the most likely place to have some form of life in our solar system, it also would be an awesome place to go swimming.

Pickup Trucks in Space?

Today, CNN.com is reporting that NASA is having trouble figuring out how to fix their newest “high-tech” problem. CNN states that NASA’s Ares I rocket, which will take us back to the moon, vibrates violently. If it vibrates at a certain frequency it could potentially kill the astronauts on board. NASA’s solution is to put shock absorbers on the capsule holding the astronauts and reduce the vibrations.

I am going to throw a couple of basic math equations to help NASA/scientists and solve this problem.

NASA scientists = stupid

Shock absorbing space ship = failure

NASA astronauts = pussies

Practice daily with vibrators + hire Samuel Lee + make Steven POTUS = successful trip to Moon

That my friends is why I’m a genius.

-Steven

Tiger Woods Will Break Your Neck

This story is about a week old, but this blog is only a day old so I can’t help but post this story.

It’s not often I will praise a professional athlete for getting into an altercation with someone in the audience. But like most things, it’s different when it’s Tiger Woods. Anyone watching the final round at Doral last Sunday saw a Tiger backswing on the par 3 ninth that brought to mind visions of Furyk or Barkley. It’s very seldom you see Wood’s finish a swing with only one hand on the club. While the on-again, off-again rain Sunday plagued many in the field, it was a photographer, clicking away during his swing, that aggravated Woods.

“Jackass!” Woods yelled as he finished his swing. Tiger turned and glared at a section of the gallery housing the photogs. Woods has an understanding with the professional photographers who follow his every move, not to click their cameras during his swing, let alone have them flash. Usually, he lets loyal caddy Steve Williams do his dirty work. Sunday Tiger took matters into his own hands.

“The next time a photographer shoots an [expletive] picture,” Woods warned, “I’m going to break his [expletive] neck.”

All I have to say is, “Way to go Tiger.” Many have been complaining that Woods was too harsh. In an interview with ESPN’s Dana Jacobson(the three of you who watch Cold Pizza, er I mean First Take, will remember her), Tiger explained that he is not the only professional athlete who has ever cursed. And he couldn’t be more right. Sure, dropping an F-bomb is not a great way to be a role model for kids. But we’d be kidding ourselves if we even considered that thought that Tiger is the only professional athlete cursing or getting angry during competition. Any decent lip reader can watch what an athlete is saying on TV and know for a fact that they’re not praying. Sitting near the bench at a basketball game is about as clean as watching Howard Stern.

Jacobson also asked him whether it’s fair that fans watching a round of golf must be silent while all other professional athletes(save for tennis players) must perform amid screaming fans. The problem with this argument is that golfers practice with silence. They’ve played this way their whole lives. It’s tradition. It’s how the sport is played. If you practice with noise around you, that’s one thing. But that’s not how today’s golfers have been preparing. Being good enough to play professional golf requires routine, based on years and years of practice. When that routine is interrupted, you’re going to mess up. Plain and simple.

Tiger admitted his emotions got the best of him, Sunday. But I hope his outburst taught fans to respect the tradition of the game. I respect the fact that photographers must get their shots. They just need not be amid the backswing of the greatest golfer in the world trying to make a comeback in the final round of a tournament.

The Mars Volta - The Bedlam in Goliath

There are two kinds of musicians out there. There are members of The Mars Volta, and there is everybody else. Once again, our boys from El Paso, Texas have redefined what the meaning of a “great album” is. When I listened to the album, I was expecting more of their atonal, solo heavy rock but what I got was nothing like that yet equally entrancing. The way that Volta writes their new album is truly inspiring. Eastern motifs and  progressive rock litter this album, and one might get the feeling from this new album that the band is trying to emulate bands they admire, such as in the song “Goliath” sounding like Alice in Chains and “Tourniquet Man” resembling Metallica. All in all, this album is irrefutably one of their best. A must buy.

-Steven

Intentions

Since I have started a blog, there are obviously intentions behind my decision. I feel that, though blogs seem to be the quintessential “Generation Y” mean of expression, I need some way to express myself. I intend to do this through reviewing things that excite me. Hence the description of what I plan to do.

Now you might say, “Steven! How can you do all of that by yourself?” Where I would reply, “I cannot. But I plan on enlisting help from a few people that I know who have very strong expertise in each of the subjects I plan to post reviews on.”

Having replied to the first question, I plan on, in the near future, reviewing a video game. Until then….