(Frank May / EPA)
Excuse me. I’m sorry, excuse me. You’re in my way. What? I’m in YOUR way? Listen, big fella, I was walking here.
Yes, I walk here often. This is a highly trafficed route in my daily routine. Well then that’s your fault for not noticing me everyday.
Oh, somebody thinks highly of themself. Sure, fine, I’ll admit now that I see you filling up the whole frame it is accurate to say that you are hard to miss.
That only speaks to my point that since I’ve never seen you around then you must not have been here, because if you had been here before I most certainly would have seen you!
Put the horn down. There’s no reason to threaten violence in a situation like this. We can talk about it like adults … of our respective species.
Where are you from? Germany? Oh, well, allow me to say that your English is very good. It’s obvious you’ve been practicing. Are you visiting the states on vacation or to see someone? Family? Internet date perhaps?
I apologize. Your personal life is none of my business. However, I will re-iterate my original point, I was here first.
Hahaha, hohoho, very funny. If I was here first, why am I not currently occupying the space? I’ve had it up to here with your attitude and rough exterior. Your sturdy body and, mmm, strong ivory …
No. I’m not … I just got out of a situation involving a pig, and, well, my friends have suggested I lay off the animals. No, I’m not a vegetarian, but if they make burgers out of turkey and tofu, it’s hard to tell it was originally a cow. I will however take the compliment.
Oh, that wasn’t a compliment. You don’t think I’m skinny? You do? Oh, you’re only interested in big boned women. Fine, big boned rhinoceros. Whatever, mosey on back to your watering hole.
My mistake. We’re already in your watering hole. I must have walked waist-deep into this lake by mistake. I’ll leave now.
