Why’s this pig looking at me funny?

Why's this pig looking at me funny?

An article in today’s New York Times discusses a group of Dutch farmers who are saving the environment two fold by collecting the harmful methane emmissions from animal waste and using it as an alternative source of energy. Farmers around the world have been and are experimenting with techniques to harness this low grade fuel source, with environmentalists lauding the effort to cut down on the 20% of naturally occuring green-house gasses.

But more importantly, does anyone else get the sense that this pig in the picture is looking at you funny?

I mean, the swine’s got it’s head tilted to one side, it’s ear up, and I don’t know if pigs have eyebrows but … I swear it’s eyebrow is raised. Is it smirking at me? Hitting on me? I feel violated.

I … can’t exactly look away. For a creature literally wallowing in the mud, the pig’s sure got a smugness about it. Is that pig saying it’s better than me? No, I do not want to join in it’s hourly mud-bath. That would be undignified. Me, a human, and it, a pig … with a twinkle in it’s eye.

That snout is dirty from all of the pigs rutting around in the ground and … is that a dimple? Look at that cheek. Does the pig have a dimple in it’s cheek? I wouldn’t describe it as cute, but perhaps charismatic.

It’s going to be slaughtered and eaten! Where does it get off giving me the business? That come hither stare. If I bought pork chops tonight I would participate in the exchange of that pigs life for my dinner and sustanance. What part of the pig does bacon come from? Because I really want to quip back, “That’s skin off your back!”

I’ve got to get away from it’s gaze. I’m going to start packing my bags. No, you can’t stop me. This relationship just isn’t working. I’m a young professional currently working in data entry with aspirations of writing, and you’re … YOU’RE A PIG! YOU LIVE ON A FARM WITH INTENT TO BUTCHER YOU!

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. But I do have to go. Your influence over me is just too much to bear. Trust me when I say that every time I have a sausage link, I’ll be thinking of you.